Respect

Shown through words, both spoken and implied, shown through actions, both direct and indirect-  Respect is something that you feel.

I have been reminded many times that what is said about me when I am not in the room doesn’t matter.  It is sticky to understand, when the things said were filled with disrespect.  It’s tricky, because I have seen the actions not match the words.  I am reminded that actions speak louder than words.  

I can understand why you keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.  Enemies will give false respect with intention of damage. Is it because the words said without your presence do matter?  Is it because when you are not around, real friends would never disrespect you?  This wasn’t true for Jesus, how can I assume it would be different for me.

I really don’t know the answer, but I am searching because growth comes with knowledge.  I am searching because to teach my boys to be the best humans they can be, we might need to lead the way in the dark.

Sometimes you have to be the squeaky wheel so that things can get fixed.  

Other times you are the nail that sticks up and you get hammered back down.  

Every single time you let your feelings and your reputation be sacrificed for the good of others, you win. 

Even when it looks like you are the biggest loser.  

Or when it feels like the darkness stoled your light.  

The truth is, your feelings were not at stake, it was never about you at all.  Your feelings belong to you no matter what is happening around you. You can never expect anyone to respect YOUR feelings, most often people react to respect THEIR feelings.

Growth should be inevitable.  Unfortunately this isn’t always the case.

Growth doesn’t come without pain and struggle, which most people avoid.  Growth also doesn’t come unless one is WILLING to grow from a situation, learning not only from mistakes but also from misjudgments.

When you lose yourself in the weight of the world and you don’t speak up for the ones that are unable to speak, that is when the darkness wins.  That is when you and your reputation really fail.  And the respect others have for you is lost.

The differences between players and posers are small, measured by actions and intentions.  

My goal in this stage of life, is to create a safe place for both of my children to become the best they can.  To become greater than I ever was.  For the preparation and protection to pay off with opportunities and open doors in any arena they choose.  Also for them to have respect for the life their father and I are providing, while we respect what they make of it.

I have written about his before, the good ones will love me.  And with that I mean, I will not be the one to watch and not do.  I will always be the one that stands for the best interest of children, no matter what is said about me behind closed doors.  Respecting the incenses of their souls and their place in this big mean world. Gaining respect from the good ones in my village, earning respect from the others like me.

Written to help my boys understand they have work to do.

xo, Mama