Not on the same day.

I was married 3 years when I stayed with my Aunt for a week long trip. She has been happily married her entire adult like. I asked her what the secret was and she laughed. “It was just lucky that we didn’t give up on the same day.”

I have carried that advice into almost ever part of my life, but especially my marriage. I try to imagine what she meant as I navigate my life by this Moto. 

I guess it is normal to wonder what the heck you are doing. I guess it is normal to feel like you made a mistake and you want to just walk away. 

I have felt this a few times. My marriage, while it is happy, is isn’t perfect. I remember one time in particular that I think without my Aunt’s voice in my ear I may be been gone. 

I had a new baby and a toddler at the time. My husband was traveling 5 days a week for week, HOURS away from us. I had little to no support in our community, except this amazing delivery service that would bring me real dinner from a real restaurant so that I could eat a meal. I was so thankful for them!

I was missing someone to share the load with. I would get the kids to sleep and just sit in the quiet and wonder why I did this to myself. It was a really low point in our marriage, only because I wasn’t sharing how I felt. 

I was so lucky that my husband was so dedicated to our family. Even though he wasn’t home, he did his best to be present in our lives. 

After several months he stared to ask me about how I was feeling. My responses were all based in anger and hurt. I wasn’t open to hearing him. And things got worse. 

Thankful, Lee noticed the problem and made the necessary accommodations to correct it… we moved. 

I remember packing boxes and feeling so full of joy that I might explode. He came home upset one day about life and money or whatever grownups fight about and I was in such a place of joy that I got to be the one that PULLED him out of it. That same weekend we shared a meal and laughed that no matter what we went through, we weren’t going to give up on the same day. 

Years later we still use the Moto, not on the same day, to save ourselves from fighting and anger. No time for the negative, bring on the JOY!